Somebody lied to me ..

In 2015 this lady prophesied to me. One of the things she told me was that 2016 was going to be the beginning of the best days of my life. There had been so many things 2016-01-18 22.54.32coming against me at the time that I couldn’t help but rejoice. January 2016 my great grandad passed away. He’d been in critical condition weeks prior. “Okay, this still could possibly be my year,” I thought to myself trying to stay positive. One day, I was on Facebook and found out about a free gospel concert in my area. One of my favorite artists were performing, so I was stoked. It was my first concert! When I got there I was praising God and thanking Him for the opportunity. I remember thinking ” well God, maybe this will. R the start of the best years for my life “. Leaving the concert I received a text from my parents telling me to call them when I got home. They told me that they were at the hospital. Right then I knew something was wrong, my heart sunk to the ground as my mind started racing. I called my folks when I got home so they could pick me up. They didn’t tell me what was going on until I got in the car. My grandma died. I honestly didn’2016-01-19 17.51.19t believe them. As I followed my parents to the room where her body was,  my heart was racing a million miles a minute. What could you possibly think when someone tells you that your mentor dies?  She was the glue that held my family together. The women that always calmed me down when my anxiety got the best of me and the women who would pray heaven down when I were doing through. As I entered the room, my family’s eyes shifted towards me. As I stated as her lifeless body, tears rolled down my face. ” No No No No!” was the only thing I could fix my lips to say as I gently shook her body trying to wake her. Then thoughts started rushing through my head. I walked to the main entrance trying not to make a scene. “I need some air, I need to get out of here, ” I thought to myself. when I walked out of the emergancy room doors I completely lost it. I remembered what the lady said to me and anger imediately rushed through my body. “Lord you lied to me!” I screamed in my 2017-03-03 13.34.54mind as angry tears streamed down my face. How could this possibly be the beginning of something great when my grandma is gone? It didn’t make sense to me. As I was trying to wrap my mind around what was happening, God isn’t a man, that he should lie (Numbers 23:19) rang in my head. “She lied to me, ”  I thought to myself, shifting my anger.

For twenty-two years I rode on my grandma’s faith. All that time I didn’t have the relatioship with God that I thought I did. I’d read my bible everyday, but I didn’t depend on him. I kind of treated my gradma as a mediator in a way. I depended on my grandma who depended on God to make a way for me (complicated? yeah I know). Sometimes I’d just sit around her waiting for God to speak to me through her instead of deligently seeking him and asking him what he wants for myself. I did all this like was going to allow me to be her plus one in heaven.

When she passed away, my journey with God TRULY began. I depended on God more than I have my entire life. My relationship with God has been getting better with age. I depend on God to give me strength to make it through each day without her.

In 2016, I passed my classes (both winter and fall semester), I got a job working in a field that I’d been fasting and praying for, and I graduated with my associates in science. Even though I miss my grandmother more than words could express, I don’t have to worry about her (everyday I’d wake up worrying and stressed out about her condition and if was going to get admitted in the hospital that day). She’s chillin with my other grandparents, her parents, and most importantly Jesus. On top of all that, God has turned into my bestfriend…Maybe she didn’t lie after all

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